Monday, January 30, 2017

Happy is the New Rich

It's been a year since I last wrote here.  And to say that it has been an easy year would be a lie.  I got through things that I never thought possible but also found so much strength in myself.  Beyond that, I felt much sheer happiness.

Happy is the New Rich.  I saw a framed print that said this the other day.  It was marked down to $3.50 and so I bought it.  I've never had a lot of money or material things.  But, this past year showed me that I am truly capable of handling myself and my finances.  I bought a car.  I took my family on vacation.  I went on dates where I paid.  I supported myself through a VERY low paying summer job.  So, money is great but happiness is more important.

About a year ago I was online dating.  Going on lots of first dates and meeting interesting people but not making too many real connections.  One day, it was actually Valentine's Day, I was just sitting around the house and I got a message.  It was someone who would have been outside of my search parameters (an inch shorter than I had searched) but he saw my photo and read my profile and felt compelled to send me a message.  He wrote to me in full sentences and with sincerity.  We quickly began emailing, then texting, then one 5 hour phone call and a first date later and that was it.  He's been a constant and someone I am daily grateful for ever since.  He's a friend and a partner and someone that I feel very secure with.  We fell in love hard and fast and intensely and have been living there ever since.  Adding to our happiness is that now my 4 year old has a 6 year old playmate in my boyfriend's daughter.  She loves her (and my boyfriend) and seeing them having fun makes my heart smile.

It's been a hard year.  My daughter has struggled a lot with anger and big feelings.  I have failed as a Mom many days.  But you keep trying.  Keep giving love and keep working on happiness as the ultimate goal.  Coparenting is harder than I thought it would be.  There has been lots of anger, miscommunication, and confusion on both sides.  There have been times when I felt much regret for the way my life turned out.  But, still happiness for all is the end goal.  I sure do hope we will get there.