Find Your Own Happy

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the things that make me happy.  For the last 3 1/2 years I have spent a lot of time and energy focusing on making my daughter happy.  I am her Mother after all, so I do feel like that's my job!  But, it doesn't mean that I have to neglect myself and my happiness.  Through therapy and good conversations with friends I am often reminded that I am the only one that can truly make ME happy.  So, my goal is to do something everyday that will bring me joy.  Here are a few thoughts on those things.

• Volleyball.  I played competitively in high school and also playing in college and after in many rec leagues.  When my daughter was born, I stopped playing. I  just couldn't make the time.  This year, I decided to take a job as the coach of a freshman team at the school where I work. I get to teach 10 Freshman girls to love the sport that I love.  It brings me great joy to play my favorite sport with them and also be a mentor figure to them.  Hearing them call me "Coach" in the halls at school always brings a smile to my face.
• Singing.  I love to sing.  Karaoke is my favorite.  When I can't find the time to get out for an actual karaoke night, I love to turn on my favorites and sing while I am cleaning or cooking.  I also use my 20 minute commute when I am alone in the car to sing my heart out. It calms me!
• Historical TV Shows and Documentaries.  I am a historical fiction junkie.  Anything that is supposed to be set in a different time period pretty much means I will watch it.  Downton Abbey.  Mad Men. The Tudors. American Dreams. Pretty much anything on Masterpiece or PBS. I see nothing wrong with taking a little time in front of the TV to unwind.
• Talking.  I am a talker. I need to talk through my thoughts and feelings with people.  It's why I write this blog. It's why I am constantly texting friends and family.  It's why I love going to see my therapist.  I like to work things out with words.  I am beyond grateful for the handful of true friends who have listened to me over and over and over in the last few months. I continue to count on them heavily and they continue to make me smile daily.
• Work.  I love my job.  Truly.  Working in a High School is the greatest. I get to know nearly 100 new students a year and watch the other 300 in the school grow up and mature.  The relationships that I have with my students and colleagues is like no other.  My coworkers are the most supportive group of people I have ever had a chance to work with.  Especially as I am going through this divorce, they have all been very kind and generous.  Several have referred to us as "family" and it really is true.
• My online Mom Group.  I have a group of women that I met online when we were pregnant with our "babies".  We have become long distance BFFs and I have met several of them in person.  We exchange Christmas cards and gifts.  We do a birthday present swap for our children. We try to meet up whenever we are anywhere near one another.  And during extra tough times we support each other.  When I told them I was getting a divorce my mailbox was flooded with greeting cards letting me know that they were thinking of me and that they loved me.  When I finally moved into my own place, a box of frozen meals appeared on my door like magic to help me adjust.  They have been there for me through every tough moment in the last few years. Late night nursing with a newborn. Martial problems.  Finding the right swimsuit or jeans. Everything.

Even in writing this post, I am realizing that I have so many things in my life that make me happy.  It is truly amazing how focusing on those things can change your whole outlook and your whole day.  I need to remember that on my down days.  Focus on the happy.  Find the happy in the every day.